The Commissioner doesn’t shape the world, he makes sense of it. It’s time to update our expectations for this season.
Author Archives: The Commissioner
Knock, Knock- A Guide To Rivalry Week Jokes
Here are a few terrible jokes to help you stay focused on Thanksgiving’s most traditional purpose- football!
6 or 7 Pure Football Stories. And Cheerleading.
Some people are entranced when they hear Beethoven. Others prefer to get lost in the light and shadow of a Rembrandt. The stunning sunset across a Montana range is heaven for many.
For us, “Steelers v Bears, Sunday afternoon, Chicago, November”. Football. This is the way.
Fixing the Stadium Name Crisis
I have an original thought that is not at all influenced by something stupid I saw on the internet.
America is in crisis. There are too many stadiums named for commercial sponsors or old people we’ve forgotten about.
De-Extinction Is Real. Oh, no.
You are a wannabe Super Genius. You figure it out.
Vote For Kiffin: A Rant and A List
Whoever you root for, do you believe your $10 bill is more valuable than your rival’s $10 bill? Also, let’s play Dead, Missing or Lou Holtz.
Nothing Was Spared, Not Even the Tortillas
Tortilla Tossing has entered the College Football Tradition Transfer Portal and you should consider firing your coach.
What Sucks Now.
Sometimes, if football and life, stuff sucks. I hope it’s not you. Or me. Let’s consider some options.
Food and Football. Don’t Parse Your Love.
Do you love football more than food, or, do you love food more than football?
Great news! This week, you don’t have to parse your love. Football and food are betrothed, again, like a living, breathing Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, at the State Fair of Texas.
Taylor Swift Explains Football
Friends, if you have not listened to “The Life of a Showgirl” at least three times over by now, DO NOT STRESS! The Commissioner understands that some of you are not capable of hearing any song that was not a hit during the Carter administration. That would put a normal person at a huge social disadvantage. However, you are not normal.
Your Commissioner, THE Commissioner, is here for you. I’m your Football Father Figure. I’ve listened to “The Life of a Showgirl” on your behalf.
