Good Day Grover Pickers,
In Memoriam Section Has Moved!
The In Memoriam section normally programmed in this blog space has moved from the top of the blog to the bottom because it is depressing. So, if you enjoy ‘recreational sadness’, read the fun parts first and as you get to the bottom of the blog, all the sadness you can handle waits like a whirling, sucking, eddy of despair.
College Football
Army v Navy
The United States Military Academy, West Point, is 223 years old and enters this year’s game vs Navy with significant all-time victories over:
- Germany at Omaha Beach
- Cornwallis and the British at Yorktown
- The Confederacy at Gettysburg
- Germany (again) at the Battle of the Bulge.
The United States Naval Academy is 180 years old and enters this year’s game vs Army with significant all-time victories over:
- Great Britain at the Battle of Lake Erie
- Spain at the battle of Santiago de Cuba
- Japan at Midway AND the Battle of Leyte Gulf.
Currently, former players in this annual game are assigned to ongoing US Military Active Combat/Security Missions in:
- Arabian Gulf
- Arabian Sea
- Atlantic Ocean
- California
- Carribbean Sea
- Chile
- Djibouti
- Europe
- Gulf of Aden
- Gulf of Oman
- Gulf of Venezuela
- Indian Ocean
- Iraq
- Kenya
- Mediterranean Sea
- North Carolina
- North Sea and Arctic Waters
- Pacific Ocean
- Philippine Sea
- Red Sea
- Sahel & North Central Africa
- Singapore Strait
- Somalia’s Puntland Region
- South China Sea
- Syria
- Tanzania
Navy finished tied for first in the American Conference, missing out on the league title game because of tiebreakers. The Midshipmen will play in the Liberty Bowl against Cincinnati. The Black Knights will play in the Fenway Bowl against Connecticut .
Navy quarterback Blake Horvath and Army linebacker Andon Thomas were both finalists this week for the William V. Campbell Trophy, also known as the Academic Heisman.
Both teams’ leading rusher and leading passer are one player: Army QB Cale Hellums has a combined 1,584 yards, Navy QB Blake Horvath is responsible for 2,430 total yards.
The uniforms are awesome as always. It takes 4 hours to paint each of the Navy helmets this year!
Enjoy the Army v Navy. The last remaining big-time college football game.
Indiana
Your next breath, and each breath after that and continuing on indefinitely is the greatest time in the history of time to be an Indiana football fan.
The number one professional amateur football team in America, better than Ohio State and Alabama and Notre Dame and everyone else, even Vanderbilt, is the biggest Cinderella story in college football history.
The Hoosiers first played football in 1887, during the Grover Cleveland administration. Since then, they showed up for 1,290 games, losing 57% of those games.
In 2025, Indiana is 13-0. If the team can muster 184 more consecutive wins, this 138 year old program will finally reach .500 all-time wins.
Head Coach Curt Cignetti famously said at his introductory press conference, “I win. Google me.”
If you need a great Christmas gift for anyone, I suggest these shirts.
Thank you, Jameis Winston
Please enjoy the growth in self-awareness of goofy quarterback Jameis Winston. Based on his self-deprecating recent TikTok’s, he is going to be a media presence for as long as he likes.
The Home Depot College Football Awards
Tonight, Friday December 12, 2025, ESPN will broadcast the annual presentation of College Football Awards. Here are the Commissioner’s choices:
Chuck Bednarik Award – Defensive Player of the Year – Jordon from UNC.
Biletnikoff Award – Outstanding Receiver – Eli Heidenreich, Navy, caught 40 passes for a team that only threw the ball 38 times.
Lou Groza Collegiate Place-Kicker Award – Best Placekicker – Tokyo Toe!, Hawaii. Learned to kick watching YouTube. Made 24 straight kicks.
Ray Guy Award – Best Punter – Bronson Long, Charlotte, had the most punts, therefore, most prolific punter.
Maxwell Award – Player of the Year – Rolijah Hardy, LB, Indiana. Best defensive player on the best team.
Davey O’Brien National Quarterback Award – Best Quarterback – Drew Mestemaker, North Texas, threw for the most yards. Don’t overthink it.
Outland Trophy – Best Interior Lineman – Somebody from Oregon.
Paycom Jim Thorpe Award – Best Defensive Back – Robert Fitzgerald, Northestern, had the most tackles. That’s what real football players do.
Doak Walker Award – Premier Running Back – The guy at Florida was good.
Heisman Trophy
On Saturday, the Downtown Athletic Club will present an annual award that grants automatic access to an NIL deal with the Nissan Heisman House. The invited candidates are:
▪️ Jeremiyah Love RB, Notre Dame – Too good for Pop Tarts
▪️ Fernando Mendoza QB, – Undefeated Big10 Champion Indiana
▪️ Diego Pavia QB, Vanderbilt – Sober Johnny Manziel
▪️ Julian Sayin, QB, Ohio State – I have no idea who this is
Will Win: Fernando Mendoza, despite his terrible on-field interviews, because he is the quarterback of the best team. They should rename this trophy “The Gino Torretta/Jason White/Troy Smith Successful But Only Slightly Better Than Average QB Award.“
Should Win: Diego Pavia, body of work includes National Junior College Championship at New Mexico Military Institute, leading the greatest victories in the history of both New Mexico State AND Vanderbilt. He’s 100% Full Football Vibe. The best fit for the Heisman House.
Has To Sit in Uncomfortable Chair For An Hour and Smile: Jeremiyah Love is an outstanding running back unless he’s playing against Miami. Julian Sayin is a quarterback of a team we believe is good, but he is not good enough to defeat Indiana, something that EVERY OTHER QUARTERBACK IN OHIO STATE HISTORY has accomplished.
Professional Professional Football
Bills v Patriots
Game moved to Rebel Alliance Echo Base on Hoth. Expecting some snow with wind chills in the teens. Schefter reporting that both QBs will ride custom Tauntauns for the game, but Drake Maye’s Tauntaun is questionable with a hammy.
Panthers v Saints
The first place Carolina Panthers, with their 5th grader starting at QB, take on a rookie QB who can’t spell his name the way it is pronounced. The whole thing is annoying for everyone. I miss Cam Newton. Easy name to say. Fun to watch.
Seahawks v Colts
Do not watch. Public executions are illegal in the United States. Somehow, somebody has got an in for newly signed 44 year-old Colts QB Phillip Rivers. Rivers is a grandfather. He has not played in 5 seasons. Last week he was at home with his wife and 9 of his 10 children. Sunday, he may start at QB against one of the league’s most formidable defenses. Hopefully this is just a clever ruse to get Seattle to waste time preparing for an old guy who won’t play.
Packers v Broncos
This could be the matchup Bad Bunny interrupts on February 8 in Santa Clara, CA.
Rams v Lions
I would like these teams to play a double-header. It just feels like fun. Sure, the Lions have fallen off this season, but even if your favorite team is winning this seasons, you would still prefer to be the Lions or the Rams because it is more fun.
Steelers v Dolphins
With Phillip Rivers back in the league, Aaron Rodgers is no longer the oldest player. He can go back to being the young punk know-it-all with the rocket arm currently capable of throwing 3, sometimes 4 yards downfield.
The Dolphins pre-snap motion and run blocking schemes are Jackson Pollack paintings, Herbie Hancock jams, and Thomas Keller entrees, in spite of Tua being more similar to a finger-painting, crayon-chewing, Biz Markie-type.
IN MEMORIAM
Michigan Football
A brief recent history of Michigan Football since 2015:
- 2 Big10 Championships
- 1 National Championship
- 1 Sign Stealing Cheating Scandal
- 4 Coaches charged with DU
- 1 Coach charged with DUI, Assaulting an officer, Biting a nurse
- 1 Coach indicted on 24 counts of aggravated identify theft in a scheme to recruit other school’s players, fired.
- 1 Coach fired for soliciting a minor
- 1 53-year old son of Bo Schembechler fired just 3 days after he was hired as an assistant recruiting director for ‘flippant behavior on Twitter’, specifically, suggesting that slavery and Jim Crow laws had a positive effect on Black people.
- 1 Coach suspended for deleting evidence in the sign stealing issue
- 2 Suspensions of Head Coach Jim Harbaugh for rules infractions
- 7 Coaches given NCAA “Show Cause” punishments, meaning, no school can hire them without generating an enormous pile of excuses why they need to hire a ‘convicted’ rule breaker.
- 1 Athletic Director currently following the LSU model, which means he may be fired, may not be fired, could still be the AD, might not be the AD, nobody is quite sure, but either way, it’s all trending in the wrong direction.
- 1 Staffer likely involved in an affair with a coach being pilloried online
- 1 Head Coach in a complete melt down, fired, and sitting in jail after an alleged affair, break-in, assault and probably a huge cover-up of some kind.
- 1 Former UNC Charlotte head coach, Biff Pogi, career record 6-16, named interim head coach for a bowl game versus Texas.
To Summarize:
Positivity
The Philadelphia Eagles put a “Positivity Rabbit” in the locker room before their game versus the Chargers last week. Maybe this was to improve moral for a the defending Super Bowl Champions, who are struggling to feel good about themselves.
The Chargers beat the Eagles.
Sources report the rabbit done died.
Bowl Games
The first Bowl Game was the Rose Bowl on January 1, 1902. Michigan began its climb to the Biff Poggi era on that day in Pasadena, defeating Stanford 49-0.
For the next 70 years, there were up to 20 Bowl Games at the end of each season. Well coifed middle-aged white dudes in ugly sport coats would create games, go on boondoggle trips to ‘scout’ potential teams, and award ‘invitations’ to schools they deemed worthy or who served the best food in press boxes.
Since the advent of ESPN, the number of bowl games has climbed to nearly 50. Now, the inevitable decline of holiday exhibitions is upon us. The bowls are not just changing names, they are going away altogether. The Bahamas Bowl died this year. The LA Bowl plays its last game Saturday. There was never any point to playing an exhibition in December in Mobile or Birmingham or Detroit or Memphis or Annapolis or Fenway or Yankee Stadium….
Friends, you may ask, “But what will we not watch on TV between Christmas an the New Year’s night if all the bowl games go away?”
I regret to inform you of the existence of regular season basketball.
It was fun while it lasted and nobody had to pay the player/employees.
Finebaum’s Political Career
SEC talking-head Paul Finebaum announced today he will not seek the open US Senate seat in Alabama because the best way to win is to run against ‘Woke Disney’, and he’s loyal to his employer.
5 years ago that would have been a joke.
Notre Dame Exceptionalism
So you are Notre Dame. That’s cute. Enjoy yourself. Nobody else cares. Win more games.
North Dakotas and One South Dakota
North Dakota State, South Dakota State and North Dakota all lost last week. 12 of the last 14 FCS Champions have had ‘Dakota’ in their name- 10 for ND State, 2 for South Dakota State. Only ‘South Dakota Coyotes’ remain.
Prepare for the rise of the Montanas– The Grizzlies and Bobcats are the last Great Western Plains stopgap to prevent an unimaginable national championship for Tareleton State, Illinois State or UC Davis.
Happy Picking,
The Commissioner
The Grover Picks 