October 5, 2022 Good Day Grover Pickers, I don’t know what you heard, but The Commissioner’s absence the last several weeks was definitely NOT due to an incarceration on charges of impersonating an unaffiliated neurotrauma consultant. I also continue to deny any involvement in the demise of the Queen or the McRib. I was not, …
Author Archives: The Commissioner
Lazy, Because Football Players Do All The Work This Weekend
September 13, 2022 Good Day Grover Pickers, I don’t even know how to begin looking ahead to this week’s games. Two of the NFL’s best QBs face off Thursday night on Amazon Prime. Oklahoma and Nebraska renew the fabled rivalry just days after the Huskers shucked Scott Frost. Gameday is going to Boone, NC instead …
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Football and Biscuits
September 6, 2022 Good Day Grover Pickers, You are reading live from the Queen Street Playhouse in downtown Charleston, South Carolina. Hey, Ya’ll! THE COMMISSIONER is here for an event to launch the second season of a PBS television series, How She Rolls, which he produces, directs, writes, and endlessly ponders. He’s joined tonight by …
General Collective Booty
August 30, 2022 Like a melting popsicle revealing a cheap balsa stick, the summer season melts into Labor Day and Professional Amateur Football returns to us filled with hope and anticipation for every fan of Alabama and maybe Georgia and possibly Ohio State. The rest of us are just an abandoned ice cream truck of …
Death of a Season
Plague? Please. If Tom Brady lived in London in 1632 the local sportswriters, such as William Shakespeare (who died 16 years earlier but is the only sportswriter of the time that I can name), would pull out their ink stained goose quills and pen, “Forsooth and verily, Tom Brady doesn’t get the plague. He gives it.”
Toddlers Frying A Turkey in the Driveway Bowl
December 16, 2020 Good Day Grover Pickers, Welcome to Bowl Season! Bahamas Bowl – Toledo v Middle Tennessee This is the BIG ONE! The most prestigious non-playoff bowl game. Game time temp is 80 with lots of sunshine. You leave Toledo or Murfreesboro and head for Atlantis! It’s a reward beyond the reach of teams like …
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Inside Info from Beano and Hank, The Greek Ax
December 3, 2021 Breaking News: Your Commissioner, THE Commissioner, received last night an encrypted, catsup stained .scrt file from an unnamed source, let’s call him ‘Beano’, with HUGE “news” about this week’s games. This is a source The Commissioner has cultivated for years, especially since Beano’s alleged ‘death by bacon’. I’ve used sketchy methods, decoder …
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Thanksgiving is The Season For Hiring Coaches, Turkey, and Lightbulbs.
November 25, 2021 It’s Turkey Eating/Buying Lightbulbs/Coach Firing Season in football. It’s also the end of the college regular season. Let’s get our lives in order and set some things straight. The First Mistake The First Mistake Hiring Coaches You want your AD to hire an offensive genius or a defensive genius. You want to …
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Lazy, Angry, Befuddled and Cliched
November 18, 2021Good Day Grover Pickers, Your Commissioner, THE Commissioner, is lazy, angry, and befuddled. Here’s one reason. This is an actual thing kids, but not my kids, are asking for this Christmas. What is this… crap? It is SOLD OUT at Target and Walmart. You may have to purchase it at QVC! An alternative is …
Nothin’ But A Good Time
November 3, 2021 Gray colored the chilly morning outside the window of the first floor medical office condo. I had a perfect view from the dental hygienist’s chair of the 231 pale red bricks forming a wall of another medical condo just 12 feet away. I was beginning the 45 minute ritual in which a …
The Grover Picks 