Good Day Grover Pickers,

Friends, we live in a world that has bowl games, and those bowl games have to be mocked on a Bowl Game Preview Blog by men with keyboards. Who’s gonna do it? You? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You cheer for one favorite team and you don’t even know which teams play in the other 51 games. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know, that watching 51 bowl games, plus the 58 remaining NFL games, while tragic, probably wastes time. And my existence, while awkward and incomprehensible to you, saves time! You don’t want the truth, because deep down in places I hope you talk about at parties, you want me on this blog. You need me on this blog. We use words like “Kiffin”, “The Jets Suck”, “Super Genius”. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent watching football. You use them as a punchline. I have nothing but time and the inclination to explain games to Pickers who rise and sleep under the blanket of the very Pick Sheet that I provide, and then question the identity of the bowl sponsors I’m provided! I would be grateful if you liked and shared, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a domain name, and write a post. Either way, I actually give a damn what you think you are entitled to!

And for good measure…

“You’re damn right I wrote this blog!”

Here is Part 1, with games through December 27. Take your time, read slowly, and Part 2 will magically appear… later.

UPDATE: Human Jukebox

Previously reported in these blogs was the Band of the Year contest between FAMU and Southern. We can now report that Southern University Human Jukebox won with a surprise performance of the Urkel dance. Nobody saw that coming!

IS4S Salute to Veterans Bowl

Troy Trojans VS. Jacksonville State Gamecocks

Montgomery, AL — Cramton Bowl
Troy University — Troy, AL; Jacksonville State University — Jacksonville, AL
Enrollment: Troy 14,500; Jacksonville State 10,300

Should You Watch?

Definitely watch.

Why?

  1. Veterans.
  2. You’ve got something better to do on a Tuesday night at 9pm in December?
  3. Splunk. IS4S, aka, Integrated Solutions for Systems, is “an employee-owned engineering firm specializing in defense tech. These are the guys who make and support Splunk, the industry leading “data platform for searching, monitoring, analyzing, and visualizing machine-generated data (logs, metrics, events) in real-time, turning vast amounts of complex data into actionable insights for IT, security, and business operations through dashboards and reports.”
  4. One of the starting quarterbacks is named ‘Goose’.
  5. Montgomery’s Historic Cramton Bowl started life as a sanitary landfill. For many years it was the site of the annual Blue Gray all-star game.
  6. The eighth and deciding game of the 1943 Negro World Series was held at the Cramton Bowl, with the Homestead Grays defeating the Birmingham Black Barons, 8–4.
  7. Binoculars are permitted; however binocular cases are prohibited in the Cramton Bowl.

Why Not?

  1. You are burned out from watching Troy too often this season.

Alternative Viewing:

The English National Ballet’s production of Tchaikovsky’s “The Nutcracker” is on PBS’ Great Performances at 9pm as well.

STAFFDNA Cure Bowl

Old Dominion Monarchs VS. South Florida Bulls

Orlando, FL — Camping World Stadium
Old Dominion University — Norfolk, VA; University of South Florida — Tampa, FL
Enrollment: Old Dominion 23,500; USF 48,700

Should You Watch?

Of Course.

Why?

  1. The StaffDNA Cure Bowl is a platform that helps raise funds for individual cancer researchers.
  2. 11 seconds into the 2025 season, ODU had a 7-0 lead on #1 Indiana!
  3. ODU rushed for 218 yards vs. IU, the most of any team this season
  4. USF led the SEC’s Florida Gators 13-9 into the 4th quarter in Gainesville
  5. StaffDNA® built the world’s first digital marketplace for healthcare careers™
  6. ODU will wear pink helmets.

Why Not?

  1. USF’s coach Alex Golesh will spend the game at home in Auburn, AL
  2. USF QB Byrum Brown will not play, but will coach
  3. You are pro-cancer?

Alternative Viewing:

Cook’s Country: Feast of the Seven Fishes on Create Channel

68 Ventures Bowl

Louisiana Ragin’ Cajuns VS. Delaware Fightin’ Blue Hens

Mobile, AL — Hancock Whitney Stadium
University of Louisiana at Lafayette — Lafayette, LA; University of Delaware — Newark, DE
Enrollment: Louisiana 19,500; Delaware 24,400

Should You Watch?

No.

Why?

  1. Cajun cooked yard bird is always tasty, so maybe just visit your local Popeyes.
  2. Hancock Whitney Stadium is the new home of the Senior Bowl, which is a more interesting game.
  3. Both teams are 6-6.
  4. Call me when the Delaware NIL group raises more than $12.

Why Not?

  1. Delaware dons helmets that look like the University of Michigan helmets, so it may be the second to the last time you get to see those kind of helmets in a bowl game for a long time.

Alternative Viewing:

Fork & Hammer on Create – Seriously, great show. Produced and Directed by Grover Picker SoftFocus. Series name created by The Commissioner. Must watch the whole series!

Xbox Bowl

Missouri State Bears VS. Arkansas State Red Wolves

Frisco, TX — Ford Center at The Star
Missouri State University — Springfield, MO; Arkansas State University — Jonesboro, AR
Enrollment: Missouri State 25,200; Arkansas State 17,500

Should You Watch?

Do you have a gambling problem? If yes, then yes.

Why?

  1. Try Something New. There is a great chance, a certainty really, that you have NEVER seen a Missouri State Bears game. 2025 is the school’s first season in FBS in Conference USA.
  2. Revenge. Arkansas State is 2-0 all-time vs. Missouri State. The last matchup, in 2014, was a 70-7 Red Wolves win. Bears got beef.

Why Not?

  1. Out here in the real world, a black bear destroys a red wolf. The bear is bigger and stronger. The wolf is likely to use speed to avoid the confrontation, but in a confined space, the bear wins decisively. The wolf’s only chance is the customary wolfpack approach. Multiple wolves bring down the bear, but one-on-one, pick the bear.
  2. Bobby Petrino coached Missouri State in 2020. The Bears won the Missouri Valley Conference that year.

Alternative Viewing:

Rams v Seahawks on Amazon Prime for first place in the NFL.

Myrtle Beach Bowl

Kennesaw State Owls VS. Western Michigan Broncos

Conway, SC — Brooks Stadium
Kennesaw State University — Kennesaw, GA; Western Michigan University — Kalamazoo, MI
Enrollment: Kennesaw State 51,000; Western Michigan 17,600

Myrtle Beach, America

Should You Watch?

Do you have another meeting scheduled at 11am on Friday? If so, then cancel the meeting and watch!

Why?

  1. MACtion Conference Champ vs. CUSA Champ!
  2. Myrtle Beach always looks inviting on TV at 11am in winter
  3. Easy to understand Bowl Sponsor. It’s a beach!
  4. Game played on ‘Surf Turf’, which is technically called “Chanticleer Teal”
  5. Even players who will eventually enter the portal are opting IN for the chance to visit Conway, SC.

Why Not?

  1. There have been 5 Myrtle Beach Bowl games. Each one was a blowout early.

Alternative Viewing:

Antiques Roadshow: The Gen X Years on WEDQ (digital channel) – this is an opportunity for many of you to learn if all that crap in your attic is worth anything.

Union Home Mortgage Gasparilla Bowl

Memphis Tigers VS. NC State Wolfpack

Tampa, FL — Raymond James Stadium
University of Memphis — Memphis, TN; North Carolina State University — Raleigh, NC
Enrollment: Memphis 23,000; NC State 36,000

Should You Watch?

No.

Why?

Misaligned Values. The Gasparilla Bowl is a game, and a festival, themed on pirates. Pirates, it turns out, lived lives defined by crime, violence, poverty, war, hard labor, meager food, disease, cramped and filthy living conditions, the constant risk of storms, and execution. In other words, the authentic Tampa.

The Gasparilla Bowl Game, on the other hand, seeks to whitewash reality with its bogus value statement:


OUR VALUES (according to Gasparilla Bowl)
A – Affordable entertainment for the whole family
R – Rally as a community
R – Reward student-athlete success with a first-class experience
G – Give back around the holidays
H – Highlight Tampa Bay

Do not participate in the lie. Go to Hooter’s and throwback a beer and some wings. Those are Tampa’s values, not ‘First-class experience’.

  1. NC State is 0-5 in its last 5 bowl games.
  2. Memphis has not won a bowl game in 10 years when Ryan Silverfiled was not the coach. He left for Arkansas. (FSU legend Mike Norvell was 0-4 in bowls as Memphis coach. Just saying.)
  3. There are no winners here.

Why Not? (meaning, why should you watch)

  1. You are finished Christmas shopping and have plenty of bourbon in the cabinet that won’t drink itself.
  2. Court order.

Alternative Viewing:

Medical Frontiers: A Long-Lasting Artificial Hip Joint to Change Your Life on NHK World Japan (digital channel from your local PBS station)

College Football Playoff — First Round (Dec 19)

Alabama Crimson Tide VS. Oklahoma Sooners

Norman, OK — Gaylord Family Oklahoma Memorial Stadium
University of Alabama — Tuscaloosa, AL; University of Oklahoma — Norman, OK
Enrollment: Alabama 38,500; Oklahoma 31,800

Boomer Sooner. I asked AI to have the schooner run over the elephant, but it placed the elephant in the schooner instead. AI is a Bama fan.

Should You Watch?

Yes, it’s required.

Why?

  1. Could be Alabama Coach Kalen DeBoer’s last game in the SEC (I know, we say that every Saturday, but it’s true.)
  2. Boring football is still football.
  3. Boomer Schooner is awesome.
  4. Potential for sad Bama fans always thrilling.

Why Not?

  1. Seen it before.
  2. Neither team should be in the playoff and you are protesting.
  3. Years ago this matchup may have risen to the level of a Music City Bowl, or maybe a Gator Bowl. Now it’s a playoff? You know better.

Alternative Viewing:

Sheriff Country CBS- same show as Oklahoma v Bama, different uniforms.

College Football Playoff — First Round (Dec 20 Noon)

Miami Hurricanes VS. Texas A&M Aggies

College Station, TX — Kyle Field
University of Miami — Coral Gables, FL; Texas A&M University — College Station, TX
Enrollment: Miami 19,000; Texas A&M 73,000

Should You Watch?

Absolutely!

Why?

  1. Canes rental QB Carson Beck throws outstanding interceptions
  2. No matter how many times you see A&M and Kyle Field on TV, you still can’t believe that level of pageantry, pomp and commitment is necessary or real
  3. Mario Cristobal clock management is always entertaining

Why Not?

  1. You find clowns less creepy than Aggie Yell Leaders?
  2. You don’t like dogs that fetch?
  3. You don’t like Football?

Alternative Viewing:

Kitchen Curious with Vivian Howard on WEDU and PBS Stations nationwide – Great series! Produced and directed by Grover Picker SoftFocus!

College Football Playoff — First Round (Dec 20 Afternoon)

Tulane Green Wave VS. Ole Miss Rebels

Oxford, MS — Vaught-Hemingway Stadium
Tulane University — New Orleans, LA; University of Mississippi — Oxford, MS
Enrollment: Tulane 11,800; Ole Miss 23,500

Should You Watch?

Does a catfish love muddy water?

Why?

  1. Don’t get into a fight with an opponent that has nothing to lose, and Tulane has nothing to lose.
  2. Don’t get into a fight with an opponent that has something to prove, and Ole Miss has something to prove.
  3. Wait till you get a look at the new, permanent, Ole Miss head football coach, Pete Golding. I don’t think he’s a hot yoga guy.

Why Not?

  1. All of this, every play, from the perspective of both teams, is a rolling referendum on Lane Kiffin and if LSU made the right decision, and maybe you’ve heard just about enough about Lane Kiffin.

Alternative Viewing:

UNC Tar Heels v Ohio State Buckeyes Men’s Basketball on CBS

College Football Playoff — First Round (Dec 20 Evening)

James Madison Dukes VS. Oregon Ducks

Eugene, OR — Autzen Stadium
James Madison University — Harrisonburg, VA; University of Oregon — Eugene, OR
Enrollment: JMU 24,000; Oregon 25,900

Should You Watch?

Required.

Why?

Because JMU Sports News has been talking amazing trash.

Why Not?

  1. You don’t love America.
  2. You love the NFL more.

Alternative Viewing:

Packers v Bears NFL on FOX

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl

Washington State Cougars VS. Utah State Aggies

Boise, ID — Albertsons Stadium
Washington State University — Pullman, WA; Utah State University — Logan, UT
Enrollment: WSU 24,000; Utah State 14,800

Should You Watch?

Only if the alternative is cleaning gutters.

Why?

  1. Beginning in 1997, the bowl’s mission has always been to showcase the beauty and hospitality of Boise, Idaho, which, in certain light and at certain angles, is beautiful on TV (and in person).
  2. Played on the blue Smurf Turf, which is at odds with the surrounding natural beauty, but it’s good to check-in to see if Boise is still using that crap.
  3. You can make french fries with famous, or even merely notable, Idaho potatoes. French fries are good.

Why Not?

  1. The Famous Idaho Potato Bowl is the longest-running cold weather bowl game in college football. This isn’t something to be proud of.

Alternative Viewing:

General Hospital ABC Episode 15,857, 64th Season. Michael has a testy encounter with Drew and Willow; Nina calls in a favor; Rocco issues an ultimatum to Dante; Charlotte makes a confession; An eavesdropper hits paydirt.

Bush’s Boca Raton Bowl of Beans

Toledo Rockets VS. Louisville Cardinals

Boca Raton, FL — Flagler Credit Union Stadium
University of Toledo — Toledo, OH; University of Louisville — Louisville, KY
Enrollment: Toledo 16,500; Louisville 22,500

Screenshot

Should You Watch?

100%!

Why?

The Bowl of Beans is working, and succeeding, at joining the highest tier of bowl games alongside the Mayo Bowl and the Pop Tarts Bowl.

  1. Bean Pot Trophy: Instead of a traditional trophy, the winning team gets a massive pot of simmering beans, with a stove lit at kickoff to get fans excited.
  2. “Beans Everywhere”: The stadium gets covered in bean-print glory, with fans getting branded merch and bean-themed snacks available.
  3. Pregame Bean Bash: A giant RV shaped like a can (the “Canper”) and a ball pit full of beans for fans to jump into.
  4. Bean Can Tunnel: Teams run through a giant bean can tunnel when entering the field.
  5. Free Entry: The first 2,000 fans to bring a can of Bush’s Beans get in for free.

Why Not?

  1. You suffer from leguminophobia
  2. Never overcame youthful bean hesitancy
  3. Your local CVS is sold out of Beano
  4. You never appreciated the genius of Dumb & Dumber
  5. You are married to a woman

Alternative Viewing:

En Casa con Telemundo – Telemundo – Una entretenida mezcla de las noticias del entretenimiento, exclusivas con estrellas de la música, el cine y la televisión, presentaciones en vivo, y el estilo de vida de los famosos.

New Orleans Bowl

Western Kentucky Hilltoppers VS. Southern Miss Golden Eagles

New Orleans, LA — Caesars Superdome
Western Kentucky University — Bowling Green, KY; University of Southern Mississippi — Hattiesburg, MS
Enrollment: WKU 20,500; Southern Miss 13,300

Should You Watch?

Fais comme tu veux.

Why?

  1. C’est une bonne excuse pour manger des beignets.
  2. C’est un bon rappel d’écouter le Preservation Hall Jazz Band.
  3. Ça ne te fera pas de mal.

Why Not?

Si tu n’es jamais allé à Hattiesburg ni à Bowling Green, tu n’as vraiment aucune raison de regarder ce match. Occupe-toi de tes affaires.

Alternative Viewing:

BBC News America – PBS World Channel

Scooter’s Coffee Frisco Bowl

UNLV Rebels VS. Ohio Bobcats

Frisco, TX — Ford Center at The Star
University of Nevada, Las Vegas — Las Vegas, NV; Ohio University — Athens, OH
Enrollment: UNLV 22,000; Ohio 22,400

Should You Watch?

Watch with great interest and intensity.

Why?

  1. Outstanding culture clash between two very different cities with similar homages to ancient Greece.
  2. UNLV’s QB, Anthony Colandrea, has re-signed with the Rebels so they can be good next year.
  3. Ladies Day Out- The Frisco Bowl sponsors a whole day just for ladies- coaches wives and administrators- to go shopping at Frisco Mercantile. Support the ladies! Amirite?

Why Not?

  1. The regular venue, Toyota Stadium, is being renovated. This game is played indoor at the Dallas Cowboys World Headquarters.
  2. Scooter’s Coffee is from Nebraska, which is not a coffee growing region.
  3. Scooter is not referring to a person, it refers to the ability to ‘scoot in and out’ of their drive thru stores. I was disappointed to learn that.

Alternative Viewing:

Nuggets v Mavericks NBA on NBC

Sheraton Hawai‘i Bowl

California Golden Bears VS. Hawai‘i Rainbow Warriors

Honolulu, HI — Clarence T.C. Ching Athletics Complex
University of California, Berkeley — Berkeley, CA; University of Hawai‘i at Mānoa — Honolulu, HI
Enrollment: Cal 30,800; Hawai‘i 10,400

Should You Watch?

It’s Christmas Eve, what else would you be doing?

Why?

  1. See Grover Picker Jack Mowrey, #33, long snap for America’s best kicker, the Tokyo Toe, Kansei Matsuzawa.
  2. Look for Grover Picker Dave Mowrey and family in the stands
  3. Aloha means “Merry Christmas”
  4. Game ends early enough so you can slide into midnight mass just in time.
  5. You’ve already seen “It’s a Wonderful Life” and if you have not, I’ll spoil the ending- on the Nakatomi Plaza rooftop, John McClane, using his last bullet taped to his back, kills Hans Gruber’s last henchman, then tricks Gruber into revealing himself before shooting him, causing Gruber to fall to his death from the skyscraper while clutching Holly’s watch.

Why Not?

  1. Chicken wings and beer on Christmas Eve is not in the Bible. Yet.

Alternative Viewing:

Dog The Bounty Hunter S3E19 on NEST (digital over-the-air broadcast) – also takes place in Hawaii.

GameAbove Sports Bowl

Central Michigan Chippewas VS. Northwestern Wildcats

Detroit, MI — Ford Field
Central Michigan University — Mount Pleasant, MI; Northwestern University — Evanston, IL
Enrollment: CMU 17,300; Northwestern 8,400

Should You Watch?

NO!

Why?

  1. Huge domed stadium, tiny MAC/Private School Crowd, bigger stakes at a YMCA soccer match between teams of 5 year-olds.
  2. On TV, with all the cameras and microphones, this presents a vibe best described as “My Life Has No Purpose and It’s Almost 2026!”
  3. Game Above Sports is a cloudy philanthropy focused on eastern Michigan and fomenting sports innovation, investment and community. It’s a non-profit front for Capstone Holdings, a vertically integrated building products distributor that itself appears to be a front for a bunch of dudes making money off of making money without adding any real value to anything. I’m sure they would argue that point.

Why Not?

Just sit this one out. I’m not going to try to convince you there is even one reason to tune into this.

Alternative Viewing:

Rick Steves’ Europe: Germany and Leipzig on WEDU

Rate Bowl

New Mexico Lobos VS. Minnesota Golden Gophers

Phoenix, AZ — Chase Field
University of New Mexico — Albuquerque, NM; University of Minnesota — Minneapolis, MN
Enrollment: UNM 17,600; Minnesota 50,000

Should You Watch?

Enthusiastically, YES!

Why?

  1. Row the Boat!
  2. There’s a 50/50 raffle during the game!
  3. New Mexico has turquoise uniforms and they are not afraid to use them!
  4. Evenly matched mid-level talent.
  5. Rate, formerly Guaranteed Rate, is a mortgage company. It claims to have launched a mortgage revolution in 2000 and created the world’s first digital mortgage allowing online applications to be completed in as little as 15 minutes! That is one full mortgage app per quarter!

Why Not?

  1. Football games on baseball fields should be a felony with a minimum 5 years sentence.
  2. Angry that this isn’t still called the Cheezit Bowl.
  3. Current 30 year mortgage rate hovers around 6.3%. I don’t know if that’s good or bad these days, but the confused mind says “no”.

Alternative Viewing:

Samantha Brown’s Places to Love on PBS Create

SERVPRO First Responder Bowl

Florida International Panthers VS. UTSA Roadrunners

Dallas, TX — Gerald J. Ford Stadium
Florida International University — Miami, FL; University of Texas at San Antonio — San Antonio, TX
Enrollment: FIU 36,000; UTSA 37,000

Should You Watch?

If you don’t watch, you are against first responders.

Why?

  1. This one headline swiped from the internet makes the case, plainly and powerfully, “Former CUSA opponents UTSA and FIU meet in Dallas the day after Christmas.”
  2. ServPro is America’s #1 choice for cleaning up a giant mess and so is FIU coach Willie Simmons, who engineered a program-trajectory-altering turnaround this season.
  3. UTSA are the only Roadrunners left in college football bowl season
  4. Gerald J. Ford Stadium is only a 9 minute drive to Pecan Lodge barbecue in the Deep Ellum neighborhood. Just thinking about the smoke in that place makes me happy.
This was all smoked on site for hours and… it is… perfect! Pecan Lodge- Deep Ellum, Dallas, TX.

Why Not?

  1. Played on the SMU campus near the center of Dallas, which, in the winter, has all the charm of dirty ice tray.
  2. You thought it was FAU.

Alternative Viewing:

Washington Week with the Atlantic/Firing Line with Margaret Hoover on PBS

Go Bowling Military Bowl

Pittsburgh Panthers VS. East Carolina Pirates

Annapolis, MD — Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium
University of Pittsburgh — Pittsburgh, PA; East Carolina University — Greenville, NC
Enrollment: Pitt 18,000; ECU 28,000

Should You Watch?

Are you still hungover from last night? Then, maybe.

Why?

It’s 11am on the east coast and it’s the only live football game on TV.

Why Not?

It’s 11am on the east coast and it’s too hard to figure out what going bowling has to do with the military, the US Naval Academy, or pirates and you are still hungover from last night.

Alternative Viewing:

Stream Looney Toons on MAX

Bad Boy Mowers Pinstripe Bowl

Penn State Nittany Lions VS. Clemson Tigers

Bronx, NY — Yankee Stadium
Pennsylvania State University — University Park, PA; Clemson University — Clemson, SC
Enrollment: Penn State 46,000; Clemson 26,000

Should You Watch?

Without fail, plan your life around watching this game.

Why?

  1. The #2 Penn State Nittany Lions, bullies of the Big10, resplendent in all-white, are ready to claim a National Championship!
  2. The #4 Clemson Tigers, the ACC’s premiere National Championship contender, returns a veteran QB and a nasty defense in pursuit of a dynasty-clinching 3rd World College Football title in the last 9 years.
  3. Coach Dabo!
  4. Coach Terry Smith!
  5. NY Yankees!
  6. Several stupid events will take place during game play, guaranteed.

Why Not?

  1. It turns out, and this was news to me, Penn State, and Clemson, but the Pinstripe Bowl is not part of the college football playoff.
  2. Football games on baseball fields should be a felony with a minimum 5 years sentence. Double it in Yankee Stadium.
  3. If ever there was a bowl game full of teams with players who want to opt out….
  4. Bad Boy Mowers is a misaligned sponsor. Do people in New York City use powerful mowers for yard work? Has anyone who works for/with the Yankees ever done a hard day’s yard work in their life? Bad Boy Mowers should be sponsoring games in Mobile or Shreveport or Pasadena- places where actual Bad Boys hibernate and/or places with great lawns.

Alternative Viewing:

Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom – it’s on somewhere and is likely showing a better contest between Lions and Tigers.

Wasabi Fenway Bowl

UConn Huskies VS. Army Black Knights

Boston, MA — Fenway Park
University of Connecticut — Storrs, CT; United States Military Academy — West Point, NY
Enrollment: UConn 18,600; Army 4,400

Should You Watch?

Nope, but yes.

Why?

  1. Support the troops. Go Army.
  2. Bad Boy Mower’s Pinstripe Bowl is already out of hand on the other channel.

Why Not?

  1. Connecticut is only for basketball season. If Connecticut is in a bowl game, there are at least 20 bowls games too many.
  2. Football games on baseball fields should be a felony with a minimum 5 years sentence. Double it if the stadium features a green monster.
  3. Bad Boy Mowers Pinstripe Bowl is as stupid, and therefore as entertaining, as promised.

Alternative Viewing:

Packers v Bears NFL on FOX

Pop-Tarts Bowl

Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets VS. BYU Cougars

Orlando, FL — Camping World Stadium
Georgia Tech — Atlanta, GA; Brigham Young University — Provo, UT
Enrollment: Georgia Tech 18,000; BYU 34,000

Should You Watch?

You should watch pre-game, game and post-game.

Why?

  1. They are going to put people in Pop Tart costumes, make them dance, and then sacrifice one of those people by cooking them in a giant toaster, live in the stadium, just so the winning team can break off a piece of the giant Pop Tart and eat it as part of the victory celebration.
  2. Georgia Tech loves to beat people up.
  3. BYU loves to beat people up.
  4. Frosted Pop Tarts are the only Pop Tarts. Pick your favorite corn syrup flavor. I like raspberry, but you are not obligated to agree on the berry flavor. The frosting is non-negotiable.
  5. A warm Pop Tart is better, but I am not averse to eating them raw from the foil package, especially while hiking.
  6. Also used to be the Cheezit Bowl.
  7. Also used to be the Blockbuster Bowl.
  8. Orlando is the best bowl game destination because it is an entire former citrus field now overbuilt with the world’s finest collection of entertaining attractions. This ain’t Mobile, ya’ll!

Why Not?

  1. You are more of a Cinnabon connoisseur
  2. You hate math and engineering
  3. Never been to Utah and don’t plan to ever visit
  4. There’s an NFL game on between much better teams than this.

Alternative Viewing:

Packers v Bears NFL on FOX

Snoop Dogg Arizona Bowl

Miami (OH) RedHawks VS. Fresno State Bulldogs

Tucson, AZ — Arizona Stadium
Miami University (OH) — Oxford, OH; California State University, Fresno — Fresno, CA
Enrollment: Miami (OH) 18,500; Fresno State 26,000

Should You Watch?

No, fo shizzle.

Why?

  1. You don’t care about either team.
  2. You can’t point out Tuscon on a map.
  3. Gin & Juice is not your drink.
  4. You’ll get enough Snoop Dogg on the Winter Olympics in a few weeks.
  5. You were not culturally aware in the 1990’s, so none of this makes sense.
  6. The LA Rams are on the other station and that’s an actual fun team to watch especially against as good a defense as the Texans present.

Why Not?

  1. Ain’t Nuthin’ but a ‘G’ Thang

Alternative Viewing:

Texans v Rams NFL on NFL Network

Isleta New Mexico Bowl

North Texas Mean Green VS. San Diego State Aztecs

Albuquerque, NM — University Stadium
University of North Texas — Denton, TX; San Diego State University — San Diego, CA
Enrollment: UNT 46,000; SDSU 36,500

Should You Watch?

Partially, especially close to very end at 7pm eastern standard time.

Why?

  1. There will sunset shots around the stadium of the Sangre de Cristo mountain range and the city and it will make you want to go to New Mexico right now.

Why Not?

  1. Rams v Texans are on the other channel.

Alternative Viewing:

Still Texans v Rams NFL on NFL Network

TaxSlayer Gator Bowl

Virginia Cavaliers VS. Missouri Tigers

Jacksonville, FL — EverBank Stadium
University of Virginia — Charlottesville, VA; University of Missouri — Columbia, MO
Enrollment: Virginia 25,000; Missouri 33,000

Should You Watch?

Yes, please.

Why?

  1. Good quarterbacks.
  2. Good uniforms. UVA’s orange and blue always looks right in the Gator Bowl
  3. You enjoy slaying taxes.
  4. You hate Kansas.
  5. Jacksonville at night on TV is the America’s Cinque Terre

Why Not?

  1. There’s an ACC team involved, and that’s rarely good
  2. You lack the midwestern values required to support teams like Missouri
  3. No actual gators on the field

Alternative Viewing:

Packers v Ravens NFL on Peacock

Kinder’s Texas Bowl

LSU Tigers VS. Houston Cougars

Houston, TX — NRG Stadium
Louisiana State University — Baton Rouge, LA; University of Houston — Houston, TX
Enrollment: LSU 31,000; Houston 47,000

Should You Watch?

No.

Why?

  1. They are going to talk about Lane Kiffin, shoot, they may even talk with Lane Kiffin, during the game and we’ve all heard enough.
  2. Kinder’s is barbecue sauce. It is originally from California, not Texas. Fraudulent.
  3. Barbecue sauce, while tasty, is always an apology for poorly cooked meats, and should be enjoyed with suspicion on barbecue.
  4. Packers and Ravens are playing on the other channel for real stakes.

Why Not?

  1. Another chance to cook beignets, jambalaya, or some weird gumbo that features exotic bird or reptile parts smothered in heat seasonings.
  2. You are an SEC fan, and since it just means more, you are forced to watch this nonsense.

Alternative Viewing:

Still Packers v Ravens NFL on Peacock

There you go. That will get you through Christmas. Part 2 will be along, but maybe Santa will have to deliver it.

Happy Picking, Happy Holidays, and here’s hoping your TV don’t bust, the internet stays strong, and the various other sundry peace on earth and warm family events of the season all work in your favor,

The Commissioner

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