October 20, 2020
Good Day Grover Pickers,
The Polls are Open!
This is the week we traditionally get the first college football playoff ranking, but, this year, it’s the first week we get to see more than half of college football open their season!
In the absence of the official polls, here is the Official Grover Picks Poll of the Week!
Over Rated
Bears
Bluetooth
Brady
Bucs
Buffalo
Circle K
Lefty
Miami
Notre Dame
NY Jets
Ohio State
Pliers
Quinoa
Romo
Springsteen
Under Rated
Bench vice
BYU
Central Arkansas
Clemson
Coastal Carolina
Lions
Marino
Mustard
Rams
SSD portable drives
Ted Lasso
Titans
Vegans
Properly Rated
Bama
Bananarama
Chiefs
Hammers
Pennies
Political Phone Calls
Sid Luckman
Seahawks
Steelers
Now, which teams to pick this week…
Thursday Football Eagles v Giants
The NFC East is… bad. Four teams with four combined wins so far. The winner of this game will hold the 4th seed in the playoffs for now with two wins. Since it’s Philadelphia v New York, it can sound like a better game than it is, but this is closer to Cincinnati v Jacksonville on a Thursday night.
You might look for alternative programming… such as
Trump v Biden v Moderator Thursday 9pm eastern on ABC, CBS, NBC, PBS and Fox networks, plus cable channels Fox, CNN, C-SPAN, Spike, Colours TV, Fearnet, G4, Mojo HD, TNN, Trio, Noggin, Q, Fine Living TV, Harmony Channel, MTV Hits, America’s Talking, Adam & Eve, the B-Movie Channel, Black Shopping Network, Fight Now TV, Turner South, Water Channel, LaFamilia Cosmovision, New Urban Entertainment Television, DogTV, and Daily Planet TV.
Or…
Consider this the best night of the week to reorganize your sock drawer. Twice.
Wisconsin v Illinois
Welcome back Big10! Wear a mask!
Louisville v FSU
Saint Bobby is out of the hospital! The Noles upset Carolina! FSU is B…. bird food.
#25 Coastal Carolina v. Georgia Southern
This is your warning that Coastal Carolina is ranked #25, higher than 10 SEC teams. This is the first time Coastal football is ranked in FBS football since President Lincoln tweeted a photo of his lunch in 1862.
Previously, the Grover Picks Blog has described Coastal Carolina Chanticleers, located in Conway, SC, as:
“fancy chickens”.
“ A Gamecock, but with a better hat”
“ The Clemson of Myrtle Beach”
This will be Coastal’s 5th consecutive national tv game.
To summarize, “Boy, I never knew how much I’d miss the Big10.”
Also, Coastal Carolina, being from the polite part of South Carolina, has published this public service video about how to pronounce the mascot’s name. It’s incredible helpful. Please watch.
#15 UNC v #23 NC State
Technically, this is a game between two ranked ACC teams. Realistically, it’s he football equivalent of Sizzler. Sure, technically it’s steak, but…
Ohio State v Nebraska
Nebraska talked big about playing football this fall with or without the Big10. No doubt, they could have had a game with Central Arkansas if the Big10 had refused to play, but instead, the Huskers, a team that does not belong in the Big10, open against the most talented roster of unpaid professional football athletes in America.
To summarize Nebraska’s outlook, “Boy, I never knew how much I’d miss the Big8.”
At least they didn’t have to schedule Coastal Carolina.
#6 Oklahoma State v #17 Iowa State
Oklahoma State are the only good football playing Cowboys between the Mississippi River and the Colorado River. Iowa State lost to Coastal Carolina. At home.
#2 Bama v Smokey’s Remains
Bama still doin’ Bama things. The Vols… still doin’ Vol things. Pick 6s to Kentucky on consecutive drives really gives one confidence in UT’s chances agains Alabama. If the Corona couldn’t get Saban, Jeremy Pruitt has no shot. Stay calm, Vol fans, the Pruitt era will crash and burn sooner than you may have planned.
Western Kentucky v Chattanooga
Welcome to football season, UT Chattanooga. Game 1 up next.
LSU v South Carolina
One school leaves with 3 losses on the season and the fan base starts to get itchy about their coach’s ‘fit’ with the school. All the scholarship athletes get a do-over this year since none of their eligibility will expire due to new NCAA covid rules. So players all get to come back next year. Coaches didn’t get that deal, Will.
#12 BYU v Texas State
A reminder that BYU, an independent, is traveling America in a long train of covered wagons, playing any available team, and winning. The Cougars are very likely to end the regular season undefeated and you will have to consider if they belong in the playoff.
In 1984 BYU went 13-0 with exactly one win over a ranked team and was proclaimed National Champions of College Football.
You’ve been warned.
Also, if you have an extra mallet, they need to repair one of the wheels that was buffeted crossing a gully and splintered.
NFL
Cowboys v Football Team
Football Team? That’s a generous description of either squad.
Bills v Jets
This is the greatest season in Jets history. 0-5. Traded their best defender. Cut their best running back. Coaches are fighting with each other through the media. Only team in the league to not score 100 points yet, and they might not get there for two more weeks!
And you thought 2020 was a complete bust! This is glorious.
Steelers v Titans
Men of Steel versus Titans just sounds like a good football game. Hopefully there will be grey skies and rain, mud on the plastic turf, and wind howling like a tropical storm. With helmeted players and masked coaches, the scene should resemble a mythic battle between oversized gangs of bandits and gladiators charging among and amock until one subdues the other with the help of a lame pass interference call in the end zone.
Seahawks v Cardinals
This sounds like the exact opposite of Steelers v Titans. It’s a sunny day on a cloud and the quarterbacks frolic to and fro, running and throwing and dancing and spinning with the speed of a cheetah and the grace of swans. It ends with whirring splashes of green, blue, teal and red soaking a TV screen and then the two QB’s stand back-to-back and the tallest one is the winner, even if neither is tall.
Bucs v Raiders
Jon Gruden, the character, was the perfect embodiment of Tampa when he coached the Bucs.
Jon Gruden, the character, is the perfect embodiment of Las Vegas now that he coaches the Raiders.
Does that mean Tampa and Las Vegas are essentially the same city, just one by water and the other in a desert? Here’s a handy chart to figure it out.
| Tampa | Las Vegas | |
| Tacky | Home of Hooters | Home of Vegas |
| Mob Ties | Traficante | Everyone Else |
| Attire | Shorts, flip flops, tank top | Sequence |
| Men’s Clubs | World Capital | World Capital |
| Showgirls | Amateur | Professional |
| Gambling | Seminoles | Exclusively |
| Tourists | Yes | Yes |
| Beaches | No- that’s St. Pete, Clearwater, Bradenton | No- that’s LA |
| Kimmel | worked at Q105 | born and raised |
| Hot | and humid | and dry |
| Tigers | Carole Baskin | Sigried & Roy |
| Gruden | Leading Citizen | Leading Citizen |
Happy Picking,
The Commissioner
The Grover Picks 
Scott ‘Soft Focus’ Galloway says:
I loved your Overrated/Underrated/Properly Rated commentary, particularly Sid Luckman who appears to be exactly where he needs to be in the universe. HOWEVER, I do take issue with your final three Overrateds.
1. Quinoa is a fresh, healthy alternative to the ubiquitous tuber, the non-beneficial on any level, potato.
2.Tony Romo played for the Cowboys. For me that is equivalent to playing on the 1970s Russian Olympic teams. That written, Romo is the best color commentator in any sport ever…with the notable exception of bowling expert Greg Stink. https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/ladies-bowling/n12621
3. At some point this weekend, sit down with headphones and listen to Jungleland with your eyes close. If, after that 9 minute extravaganza, you open your eyes and they’re dry…well, alas, I can’t help you.
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