September 21, 2023

Good Day Grover Pickers,

First, a CORRECTION:

It was reported here last week that Tennessee would rout Florida. I was wrong. That is all. No apology.

Now, for something really weird. I got some help from the robots this week. At my direction and with full input and editing, WE have created 11 poems and 1 song to help you make picks. The song includes a video at the end of the post. All of the text, images and sound are original and ‘synthetic’.

Just like Deion.

Enjoy.

FSU v Clemson

An Elegy For Dabo

In the land where dreams and rivalries ignite,

Where Seminoles and Tigers clash in the night,

A tale unfolds, a story to be told,

Of Coach Dabo, whose beliefs are bold.

With millions earned, a coach of renown,

Yet he shuns the transfer portal, wears a frown,

In a world where players come and go,

Dabo’s old-school, a unique status quo.

He threatens to quit, the burden heavy to bear,

In this modern football world, it’s a daunting affair,

For the game has changed, evolved with time,

But Dabo holds fast, in his own paradigm.

On the gridiron, where they’ll meet once more,

Florida State, though flawed, will roar,

For in their hearts, a fire burns bright,

To challenge Dabo, with all their might.

With every stride, Dabo runs in a way,

That’s funny to some, they often say,

But his dedication to the game is true,

In his own way, he’ll pursue what’s due.

The Seminoles, unconquered, unbent

And on this field, they’ll fight with intent,

To push Dabo closer to a different scene,

Owning a TCBY, a new venture to glean.

So, on this Saturday, under the stadium’s lights,

The clash begins, with all their might,

In this game of passion, courage, and grace,

May the Seminoles and Tigers leave their trace.

For Coach Dabo’s legacy, unique and grand,

Will forever shape this storied land,

In the annals of football, his name shall stay,

As they battle on, in the twilight’s ray.

Texas A&M v Auburn

How We Rue

In Texas, the Aggies prepare for the fight,

Against Auburn, on Saturday night,

With $80 million owed, they seek success anew,

But their woes have been far from few.

Recruiting stars, a class of great fame,

Yet the results have not been the same,

Their coach’s fate, a high-stakes game,

Will Gig’em triumph or face more shame?

Across the field, Hugh Freeze takes his stand,

A faux-faith huckster in this college land,

With “War Eagle” cries, Auburn’s aflame,

These athletic departments are shame and lame.

As the battle unfolds, with regret in sight,

Fans ponder if it’ll be worth the fight,

In this clash of teams, both flawed, it’s true,

College football, oh how we rue.

Alabama v Ole Miss

Kiffin’s Final Fight

In the arena, where warriors shall collide,

Alabama Crimson Tide, Ole Miss Rebels side by side,

A tale of fierce coaches, in a football bout,

Where fortunes twist, and legends may sprout.

Nick Saban, the titan of college football’s reign,

Intense and joyless, with a ferocious domain,

Success his crown, his legacy a fortress tall,

But tonight, he faces Ole Miss and yall.

Lane Kiffin, once a pupil, now a foe,

Flowing blond hair beneath a visor’s glow,

A coach, a jerk, with a lawsuit’s shade,

As history looms, in this grand crusade.

Alabama, unranked for the first in years,

Their quarterback absence, fans’ anxious fears,

For Ole Miss, a chance, the stars aligned,

To break the chains, a victory defined.

In this clash of titans, fate will decide,

If Kiffin’s Rebels can tame Crimson Tide,

The SEC Championship, their goal in sight,

Or will this duel be Kiffin’s final fight.

Oregon v Colorado

Duck Time

In the heart of Saturday’s golden haze,

Where gridiron legends seek their praise,

The Oregon Ducks, a mighty force,

Prepare for battle, stay the course.

With fearsome linemen, they defend their reign,

Their offense, a powerhouse, no disdain,

Bo Nix, their quarterback, a thrilling sight,

Guiding their dreams, under stadium’s light.

They play with speed, a dazzling dance,

Oregon’s style, a thrilling romance,

In fancy uniforms, they take the field,

A spectacle for fans, an unstoppable shield.

On the other side, the Buffaloes stand tall,

Led by Deion Sanders, known to all,

“Prime Time” they call him, in shades of fame,

With sunglasses that bear his name.

The most popular team in the land they claim,

Buffaloes rise, a football’s fiery flame,

But against the Ducks, they’ll face their test,

In a game where both teams give their best.

Though popularity may follow the herd,

Are the Buffs this good? Don’t be absurd!

Size will matter, It’s the Buffs big test,

On the football field these Ducks are best.

So, gather ’round, the tale unfolds,

In the stadium’s heart, where passion molds,

The Oregon Ducks, in their quest so bold,

Crushing Buffaloes, as their legend’s told.

Iowa State v Oklahoma State

The Fade

In Iowa, where the Cyclones collide,

With the Cowboys, their pride held inside,

Suspended players, a gamble gone awry,

On Saturday, I’ll bet they both try.

Oklahoma State’s coach, with hair unique,

A weird haircut, some say it’s quite chic,

In 2020, both teams stood tall,

But now they falter, the rise and fall.

In this game, where hopes have faded away,

The Cyclones and Cowboys, a redemption play,

From glory to struggles, the seasons have turned,

For one meaningful victory each team shall yearn.

Oregon State v Washington State

The Pac 2 Championship Game

In Pac-2’s great championship show,

Beavers and Cougars ready to go,

For the College Playoff, they strive,

With dreams of glory, they’ll thrive.

Orange and black, the Beavers’ attire,

A fearsome beaver helmet, set on fire,

Gray and crimson, the Cougars stand tall,

In this epic clash, they’ll give it their all.

Pac-2, the conference of utmost might,

With every team shining so bright,

Top 20 they stand, a league elite,

In this game, history’s drums shall beat.

The winner, a ticket to glory’s door,

The Playoff awaits, they’ll yearn for more,

But the loser, a Rose Bowl host in grace,

In this championship, they’ll give their chase.

So, let the battle begin, let it be told,

The last teams standing, boldest of the bold

For the Pac-2 Crown these teams will fight

A Beaver or Cougar will be champion tonight!

Florida v Charlotte

On Tom Petty Day

Florida’s colors, orange and blue,

With Tom Petty’s legend, a tribute that’s true,

American Girls fill the stadium’s cheer,

As the Gators aim to make victory clear.

“Into the great wide open,” they’ll run and throw,

Touchdowns aplenty, in the stadium’s glow,

The 49ers, ‘Free Fallin'” in their plight,

Though they’ll be paid well, in the game’s twilight.

In Gainesville’s embrace, the battle unfurls,

Where legends are made, and victory swirls,

With cheers and anthems, the game takes flight,

In The Swamp’s glory, under the Saturday night.

Ohio State v Notre Dame

The Beano Cook Bowl

In the Beano Cook Bowl, they take the stage,

Ohio State and Notre Dame, in the modern age,

Once giants of football, now in overrated fray,

A relic and self-importance, they display.

With talent and tradition, they still remain,

The Buckeyes’ band and the leprechaun’s name,

But in this game of sound and fury’s descent,

The winner gains hype, while we lament.

Penn State v Iowa

White Out

Whiteout roars with pride,

Iowa’s silence, points denied,

Nittany Lions stride.

Chiefs v Bears

Two Sides of Chaos

In Kansas City’s realm of chaos and might,

The Chiefs take flight, a thrilling sight,

Red and gold, with a genius for play,

In Mahomes’ hands, they pave their way.

Motion and speed, a whirlwind they create,

Kelce, their wild card, sealing fate,

Patrick Mahomes, the maestro’s call,

Guides them through chaos, conquers all.

But across the field, the Bears, they roam,

In disarray, their struggles at home,

Fields, the young quarterback, in confusion’s grip,

In chaos, they falter, in the winds they slip.

Chiefs and Bears, a tale of two fates,

One in chaos thrives, while the other waits,

On Sunday’s stage, they’ll clash and fight,

In the realm of chaos, the Chiefs find the light?

Cowboys v Cardinals

Destruction Compiled

In Dallas, where the Cowboys ride,

America’s Team, with boundless pride,

Their defense, a force both brutal and wild,

A pass rush, a tempest, destruction compiled.

With Prescott at helm, confidence so strong,

Efficiency and power, their offense belongs,

CeeDee Lamb, with eyes keen as a hawk,

Will catch the passes, make the scoreboard talk.

But in Arizona, under the desert’s gaze,

The Cardinals stand, in their hopeful phase,

Dobbs, the smart quarterback, a potential might,

Yet facing the Cowboys, it’s a daunting fight.

On Sunday’s field, in this gridiron test,

The Cowboys, America’s Team, at their best,

The Cardinals, they’re tanking, meek and mild

Dallas has perfected destruction compiled.

Eagles v Buccaneers

Please press play to hear the song!

Oh, Baker Mayfield

(Verse 1)

In Philly town, on Sunday’s dawn,

Eagles soar with defense drawn,

Against the Buccaneers, they’ll take the stage,

A mighty clash, a war to wage.

(Chorus)

Oh, Baker Mayfield, a tale untold,

From college glory to Browns’ stronghold,

In Tampa’s hopes, a shining ray,

But in Philly’s grasp, a different display.

(Verse 2)

Mayfield steps in, to replace the great,

Tom Brady’s shadow, a daunting weight,

Interceptions in the air, like a storm,

In the Eagles’ fierce pursuit, they’ll swarm.

(Chorus)

Oh, Baker Mayfield, your path unclear,

From LA’s night to Bucs’ quarterback sphere,

In this game, your fate is cast,

In Philly’s grasp, can you make it last?

(Verse 3)

Sacked and chased, a relentless fight,

Eagles’ defense, a fearsome sight,

Four interceptions, the day grows dim,

As Philly’s hopes rise, their victory hymn.

(Chorus)

Oh, Baker Mayfield, the story unfolds,

In the Buccaneers’ quest, where destiny molds,

But in one fan’s heart, a fervent plea,

“Use Kyle Trask,” he chants, let him be free.

(Outro)

In the realm of football, where legends are born,

The Eagles’ triumph, in the Sunday morn,

And Paul Grove’s plea, hey play Kyle Trask!

In Champa Bay is that too much to ask?

Happy Picking,

The Commissioner (and his robots)