October 18, 2022
Good Day Grover Pickers,
The SEC fined Tennessee $100,000 for allowing 101,915 fans to rush the field after the Vols crushed Alabama 52-49 Saturday night. One hundred thousand dollars isn’t even the hourly wage of A&M coach Jimbo Fisher, but it’s enough that if you could use someone else’s money to pay it, you should.
UT has built an ‘opportunity’ to crowd-fund the new goal posts.
Your Commissioner, THE Commissioner, has made a contribution and you can, too at: Volstarter.utk.edu
The Vols suggest donations such as $16 for the 16 years since they last beat Alabama or $52.49 to honor the final score.
I decided to give $18.04. $18 for Peyton Manning’s number, and 4 cents for the number of losses Manning had versus Florida.
Then, Mrs. Commissioner said, “Why don’t you make that $4.18?”
The Commissioner married well, don’t you think?
I typed in my $4.18 contribution and in the box marked “I’d like to give”. Then in the box for “What is this gift for?” I wrote:
“To support the new goal post purchase. $4 for Peyton Manning’s four losses to UF and 18 cents to honor Peyton’s contributions to football.”
And then I got this message:
- “I’d like to give” must be equal to or greater than $5.00.
Well played University of Tennessee Annual Giving Fund. You got me, or, more accurately, you got Mrs. Commissioner.
So I was forced to change my contribution and update the reason why.
I considered $5 for WR Jalin Hyatt’s 5 touchdown catches (on 6 receptions), but even I want UT to have the nicer, deluxe goal posts, so I stuck to my original, more generous, plan. You are welcome!
“To support the new goal post purchase. $18 to honor Peyton’s contributions to football and $.04 for Peyton Manning’s four losses to UF. Go Gators.”
The page also promised a ‘shoutout’ on Twitter for the @GrovePicks account. We shall see and I am very hopeful.
Here’s part of the receipt. This is a true story!
IS YOUR TEAM BOWL ELIGIBLE?
There are currently 7 bowl eligible teams: Syracuse, Tulane, TCU, Illinois, Liberty, Coastal Carolina, and … TENNESSEE!
To celebrate, you can now bow official, limited-edition, Bowl Bound gear. This is a real thing, and, no, The Commissioner already threw away $18.04 on a goal post, so I did not buy a shirt yet. Also, my team is not yet bowl eligible. But if your is, then go get dressed!
See the options HERE: https://vaporapparel.com/pages/bowl-season-2022 Use “GoVols” for free shipping.
If I were a Vol I’d wait for the College Playoff Eligible shirts. It won’t matter if the Vols win or lose against UGA. As long as they win everything else, they are in the playoff where they will face a Big10 or other lesser conference. Then, in the Championship Game they’ll have a rematch with UGA or Bama. Holy Phil Fulmer, it’s going to be a great New Year!
Hendon Hooker
The Commissioner met Hendon Hooker last winter and spent an hour or so with him during a workout (his workout, not The Commissioner’s). His father, Alan Hooker, was working with him that day. Alan is an NC A&T Hall of Fame quarterback. Hendon Hooker is a sharp guy, a bit serious, and committed.
Hendon and his brother, Alston, wrote a book called “The ABC’s of Scripture of Athletes”. Learn more here: https://www.hookedonsports.org
PROFESSIONAL AMATEUR FOOTBALL
Vols v UT Martin
Bounce back game for the Vols. Due to supply chain issues in the goal post industry, teams are required to go for 2 and field goals are not possible. Also, if you need a cigar in Knoxville this week, they are out. You should go to Birmingham. They are overstocked and all cigars are 50% off. Tell them Josh Heupel sent you.
Harvard v Princeton
Winner will battle Penn for the Ivy League crown. Loser has to admit the idiot children of 5 random senators into the class of 2027.
Rutgers v Indiana
Last weekend’s loss made Indiana the first school to lose 700 college football games. The Hoosiers played their first game in 1899, 123 seasons ago.
This week they face Rutgers, one of the schools that played the first college football game in 1869, 153 years ago. Rutgers only has 685 losses, but to be accurate, Rutgers did not field a team between 1892 and 1913, so they’ve played fewer season.
For perspective, Vanderbilt has 652 losses in 119 seasons. Indiana is 5-3 all time versus the Scarlet Knights.
Miami v Duke
A Trophy Game! Winner gets the Governor’s Cup, presented by New Jersey Governor Phil Murphy to recognize the state champs of the Garden State.
Ole Miss v Ole LSU
If Picasso and Jackson Pollack had a baby and it was a football game, it would look like this one.
Oregon v UCLA
A weekly reminder that the Pac12 still exists. We know Oregon is not exactly Georgia-good and UCLA is 5-1 including a win, at home, over South Alabama on a field goal with no time remaining. UCLA’s QB, Dorian Thompson-Robinson, who is older than Tom Brady, is finally worth watching.
Also, the second most 2022 thing (after riding a goal post out of Neyland and into the river)
Texas v Oklahoma State
Whatever Texas NIL is paying Quinn Ewers, they should double it every week and add crypto to the pile. Ewer’s is college Patrick Mahomes with an even worse haircut.
Tulane v Memphis
Tulane is ranked. LSU is not. I blame Putin.
Alabama v Mississippi State
“We can’t continue to tolerate guys that aren’t doing the things they need to do to be successful. Nobody is entitled to a position.”
– University of Alabama President Stuart Bell on the state of Alabama football coaching, as misquoted by The Commissioner.
Whew. Is Nick Saban’s seat getting hot?
This week’s blog is talking a lot about Tennessee’s win 52-49 over Alabama, which nearly 12 million Americans watched and appreciated.
To be fair to Alabama, they are the most penalized team in America and remain, as always, a special teams disaster, which is mostly a coaching flaw.
Anyway, still tying to be fair to Alabama, teams with the reigning Heisman Trophy winner at quarterback have NEVER won at Neyland in the 164 year history of college football. So the odds were always against the Tide.
Hope Alabama can catch some breaks and save their season. I’d hate for them to spend the college playoff running wind sprints as punishment for a two loss season.
And I would hate even more having to watch fired Nick Saban on the Fox pre-game show every week . (HA! jokes on on you, Nick. I don’t watch the Fox pre-game show! I prefer my pre-game hosts to have a pulse.)
PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL
I will only list games involving teams that appear to be mostly professional and skip the ones who appear to be mostly higher paid versions of Texas A&M.
Cardinals v Saints
Bengals v Falcons
Cowboys v Lions
Is it Thanksgiving already?
Packers v Commanders
Bucs v Panthers
Let Brady QB for both teams this week. He needs the extra practice and the Panthers, who have four injured QBs on their roster, are planning to start a season ticket holder named Dave. Fact: The only guy named Dave among the top 50 all-time NFL passers is Dave Krieg. It’s a terrible name for a QB.
Titans v Colts
The only NFL game this week in which both teams have a winning record.
Giants v Jaguars
The Giants are 5-1.
“You are what your record says you are.”- Bill Parcells
“Daniel Jones has exactly one more passing yard than… Cooper Rush.”- what the records say about the Giants QB.
Ravens v Browns
Watch some of the greatest athletes in America play like Texas A&M.
Broncos v Jets
Raiders v Texans
Chargers v Seahawks
Chiefs v Niners
Mahomes and Kelce may be the only professional football players in action this Sunday.
Dolphins v Steelers
The Steelers beat Tom Brady and Bucs with 9 defensive players missing the game due to injury including 3 CBs and 2 starting safeties. Oh, and with a rookie QB who left the game and was replaced with Mitch Trubisky.
Never doubt Mike Tomlin.
The Steelers can’t beat Tua and the Dolphins.
Patriots v Bears
Finally, this being the internet, I’d be wise to close with a picture of a doggie.
Happy Picking,
The Commissioner
The Grover Picks 