November 24, 2020
Good Day Grover Pickers,
My favorite college football note this week is not FSU’s attempt to lick door knobs until they couldn’t play Clemson due to health concerns (I make a joke, but that was all on Clemson’s stupidity), it’s that the football playoff committee will meet in person in Dallas this week to talk about football teams and rank them.
Committee leader Bill Hancock says meeting in person is needed because he, “think(s) the discussions will be more effective and thorough if they’re in person.”
The Twitter user Bum Chillups, @edsbs, a fun follow and great college football writer, said of these in-person meetings to compare professional amateur football teams, “It’s not that hard or important.”
So, it’s not like the Grover Picks at all!
Thanksgiving Football
Texans v Lions
Watching is required, but it’s like eating eating smoked salmon and beaver pelts for Thanksgiving dinner.
Cowboys v Football Team
The NFL equivalent of Cincinnati and BYU trying to get in the playoff, except, Cincinnati and BYU are actually good teams.
Steelers v Ravens
Steelers Coach Mike Tomlin should be the one and only official and exclusive spokesman for the NFL handling all of the Commissioners press conferences and reading all names at the NFL Draft.
UCF v USF
Putting the ‘ocre’ in mediocre.
Notre Dame v Carolina
Carolina wins because they just got a new goat, ramses XXII, previously named “Otis”
Cal v Stanford
The Big Game perspective: There will be fewer people in the stadium this year than were on the field for the final play when Cal beat the Stanford Band in 1982.
Georgia Southern v Georgia State
For fun, they should count all the points by hand.
In December.
UF v Kentucky
A tradition like no other, the annual post Thanksgiving rivalry in which the Wildcats have defeated the Gators exactly one time since the Gettysburg Address.
Michigan v Penn State
If Michigan’s Jim Harbaugh gets fired, will that effect sales of kahki pants?
Buffalo v Kent State- GAME OF THE WEEK
Undefeated Kent State, the worst program in the history of D1 college football and a place Nick Saban is scared to coach, faces undefeated Buffalo, for unquestioned supremacy in the Mid American Conference East Division and the inside track, INSIDE TRACK I SAY, on a bid to the Cheribundi Bowl, the Smoothie Bowl, the Camelia Bowl or dare we suggest, the Potato Bowl.
Coastal Carolina V Texas State
Picking this because we are picking the Chanticleers until they lose, which they have not. If you wish to watch Coastal on TV, wait for an away game. They use a sea-foam green turf that will hurt your eyes on high definition. It’s understandable, the Chants never expected to be on TV.
Alabama v Auburn
Always fun when old friends can get together to create special teams miracles.
Virginia v FSU
A reason the SEC is better and more fun than the ACC is that games between bad teams like Virginia and FSU aren’t interesting, whereas, in the SEC games between bad teams such as Ole Miss and Mississippi State are delightful, heartwarming and memorable in their wretchedness.
Bonus points to FSU for annoying Dabo this week.
Ole Miss v Miss State
If both teams don’t score at least 60 points each and combine for 1200 yards of offense then 2020 was just a waste of time.
Tennessee v Vandy
Selected Tennessee Twitter this week:
SPECIAL SUPER BONUS COVID GAME!!! THE VOLS AVOID LOSING!!!
This just in. The SEC has announced today that Tennessee will NOT have to face the winless Vanderbilt Commodores this weekend. It seems that Arkansas has come down with the COVID, so the Razorbacks can’t play Missouri on Saturday. Instead, Vanderbilt will play at Missouri this week to make up a previously postponed game. Tennessee gets Thanksgiving off to go hunting and fishing.
There was a time, maybe just a year ago, where I may have typed that exact paragraph as a joke. These days, the SEC does my work for me.
Arizona St. v Utah – Sunday at noon
The rest of America underestimates the pageantry and tradition between these two hated rivals and it will never be more glorious than this year’s grudge match which kicks off at 10am local time on SUNDAY in Salt Lake City before a capacity crowd of 9. “Rowdy” doesn’t begin to describe the atmosphere.
Chiefs v Bucs
Brady and Gronk vs Mahomes and Kelce is the football version of the Blackberry vs the iPhone 12. It’s 1080 vs 4K. Space Shuttle vs SpaceX. The Chiefs defense is sketchy, so maybe the Bucs can hang, but probably, nahhhh.
Cardinals v Patriots
In which Cam Newton is Sylvester and Kyler Murray is Tweetie Bird.
Happy Thanksgiving Grover People!
And Happy Picking,
The Commissioner
The Grover Picks 